March 2013


It’s 1992 in Bogota, Colombia, where the mobster Don Luis, orders a hit against his former associate Fabio Restrepo (Jesse Borrego) who he considers has betrayed him. Only Fabios young daughter Cataleya Restrepo (Zoe Saldana) escapes the massacre with in depth mob information that will be her passport out of Colombia. After having fled the Federal Police she reaches her final destination in Chicago and her uncle Emilio Restrepo (Cliff Curtis), to whom she swears that she’ll become a hit-man and avenge her family. Several years later Cataleya has become a skilled contract killer with her uncle’s help. However, she signs each of her kills with a message destined for her real prey, Don Luis, making her one of the FBI’s most wanted. She needs to reach Don Luis before his men and the FBI reaches her….

“Colombiana” is just so borderline stupid in so many ways I could write a whole essay about it. There isn’t a day that goes by I wonder why Luc Besson writes and produces this kind of crap. What happend to him? In the first scene you know that this will be such a piece of crap via the simple fact that you let the actors speak english when the setting is Colombia. Why? To create a level of believability you would let spanish be the language until the story reaches the US wouldn’t you? I would. But, not Besson and Megaton. And the first scene contains as well pretty wobbly acting and bad wigs. Great start… There is zero depth, bad acting, a too simple plot, clichés in everyway you can imagine, stereotypes in everyway you can imagine (cops are fat, stupid, sexist etc etc…), shitty dialogue, scenes that makes no sense at all (my favourite is the one where Emilio randomly shoots at a car, to make Cataleya choose her future, in the street during broad daylight and the cops arrives and he just walks away with Cataleya….) and Zoe Saldana gives a pretty wooden/clichéd presentation of Cataleya. I do like her, but this is not her finest moment. Megaton knows how to edit/cut MTV style and blow up stuff. That’s pretty much it. I truly dislike this movie and it should’ve never been made. Not at least with this script, form and shape. (1 and a half out of 5)

Colom

Roger Brown (Aksel Hennie) is one of the most wellknown and powerful headhunters in Oslo/Norway. Roger has a very harsh outerself with a foundation in his reputation, while his innerself is very insecure and frighten. To keep his trophy wife, art gallery owner Diana Brown (Synnøve Macody Lund), by his side he maintains an extravagant lifestyle. And to support this he moonlights as an art thief. Roger steals art pieces, replace the originals with forgeries, which go undetected at least until the trail back to him and his accomplice Ove Kjikerud goes cold. Ove gets rid of the original in Sweden and they split the money. However, Rogers lifestyle is draining him on money and he really needs a big score to cover everything and maybe as well be able to quit. Suddenly he sees his chance of that big score when he meets the former CEO and military Clas Greve (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) at his wifes art gallery. However, he could never imagine the consequences of this meeting…

I red the book by Jo Nesbo last year and kept the movie on the backburner until now. I liked the book and I am pleased to say that the filmmakers have crafted a wellmade movie that catches the spirit and the feeling of the novel spot on. Aksel Hennie and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau are great as Roger and Clas. The story has so many twists and turns, but the movie keeps you in line throughout its running time. It is a brutal story with very up close violence, but somehow it works within the storyline. I reckon the one thing you can react on is how over the top the story really is and all the things Roger is put through. But, in the end you do buy into what “Headhunters” serves you. Director Morten Tyldum says that they wanted to create a Hollywood stylish movie with a budget of a normal norwegian movie, and I would say that they have succeded with just that. And I maintain my opinion on the fact that Norway and Denmark is a hell of a lot better in making movies than we are in Sweden. Fact. (3 and a half out of 5)

Head

After Katrina, New Orleans police sergeant Terence McDonagh (Nicolas Cage) rescues a prisoner, hurts his back in the process and earns a promotion to lieutenant plus an addiction to cocaine and painkillers. Six months later, a family is murdered over drugs; Terence runs the investigation. His drug-using prostitute girlfriend Frankie (Eva Mendes), his alcoholic father’s dog, run-ins a well-connected john, gambling losses, a nervous young witness, and thefts of police property put Terence’s job and then his life in danger. He starts seeing things. He needs a big score to get away from his debts, so he joins forces with the drug dealer Big Fate (Xzibit). But, the murders remain unsolved. The situation is out of control…

“Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans” is a massive failure from the well known Werner Herzog in my opinion. A Nicolas Cage doing his worst overacting in a long time, a cut up narrative, scenes that makes no sense, improvised set ups so it seems, poor dialogue, handheld camerawork with no proper direction and there’s so much within the framework of the movie that’s not close to being believable. The fact that Cage’s character manages to do what he does more or less infront of his own colleagues without becoming arrested himself makes no sense at all. Just a small thing that he carries his weapon in his belt is not convincing what so ever. Sad to see two former great actors, Cage and Kilmer, totally out of form and passion. And the same goes for Herzog. And this is not even close to Abel Ferrara’s intense and solid “Bad Lieutenant”. (2 out of 5)

Bad

Foreign Legion Major Foster (Gene Hackman), an American haunted by his memories of the recently-ended Great War, is assigned to protect a group of archaeologists uncovering an ancient city near Erfoud buried by a sand storm 3,000 years ago. Among those who volunteer in Foster’s unit, willingly or unwillingly, is “the Gypsy” Marco Segrain (Terence Hill), a charming jewel thief famous for a three-year crime spree on the Riviera until French authorities managed to apprehend him. Gypsy befriends three other recruits: the Russian giant Ivan (Jack O’Halloran), formerly a member of the elite bodyguard of the deposed Russian Imperial family; “Top Hat” Gilbert Francis (André Penvern), a fashionable man and musician who lacks the physical traits needed in a soldier; and Fredrick Hastings (Paul Sherman), a romantic young English aristocrat who missed the Great War. The four friends are soon disillusioned by the harsh realities of life in the Legion. When the unit arrive in Erfoud they are encountered by the Arab leader El Krim (Ian Holm). El Krim was promised earlier by Foster that there would be no further archeological excavations and yet this is exactly what is occuring. Thus El Krim will not allow this to happen and suddenly Major Foster has a massive threat on his hand to handle…

Never seen “March Or Die” and I bought it on a whim due to the strong cast, well minus Terence Hill… Unfortunately, this is pretty much a failed try to create an epic sort of movie in the line of “Lawrence Of Arabia”. I still wonder who thought it was a good idea to put Terence Hill in one of the leading roles. What I hated the most about the movie was this crappy slapsticky sort of humour that runs through the whole movie and just ruins what Gene Hackman, Max Von Sydow and Catherine Deneuve tries to achieve with their solid acting skills. “March Or Die” just becomes completely unbalanced and painful to watch at times. The intentions were there, but the endresult is something else. (2 and a half out of 5)

March

Brooklyn-based designer Nina Azzarello has created a series of handmade, paper cut-out icons for computers. Made entirely by hand, Azzarello sketches, colors, paints, cuts, and finally scans each desktop icon into a digital image. According to her, this project is currently still on-going and she plans to make an icon for each desktop application. (via Design Taxi)

You can find the icons at www.behance.net/fairyfingers. The icons are also available at www.etsy.com/shop/NinainDesign.

Icons

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